Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
