Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
