we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
