I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
