I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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