Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
