so that wasnt chicken after all
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
