if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
