so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
