and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
