i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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