i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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