You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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