ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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