Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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