You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
