i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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