Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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