Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I want her autograph on my taint
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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