i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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