if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I still have a little drunk in my system
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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