I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
