Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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