Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
