I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My breasts were aching with rage.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
