I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish my penis had a tongue
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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