you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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