Me too!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
