I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
