Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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