Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry uhohitsalio hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(206): View more from Washington

Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

Fav 15 1264 8355
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(678): View more from Georgia

I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

Fav 29 2497 4694
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

Fav 1 1748 874
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(386): View more from Florida

Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.

Fav 6 2278 1035
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(914): View more from New York

Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.

Fav 10 1931 709
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(954): View more from Florida

I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.

Fav 5 1076 728
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(217): View more from Illinois

Blame the bisexuality and move on?

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(804): View more from Virginia

You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future

Fav 0 50 9
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