May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I touched a dick in church today
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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