In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
