i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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