I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
literally had 100 drinks last night.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
