Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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