The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
