Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
