I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
