I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
