I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
