I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
