you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
