whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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