At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
