4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
