Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i now understand why vodka
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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