Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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