Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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