I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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